Your Baby

Our 1st baby, and oldest daughter drove south yesterday to join us on vacation. The rest of the family was already gathered, yet it wasn’t complete until she walked through the door. Seeing her smile and knowing she was safe, I finally relaxed. It’s a joy to have everyone together. No matter how old they get, I love them each like crazy!

My husband and I could never have guessed that having children would bring us such joy, and such intimate knowledge of God. Raising our kids has offered an unimaginable perspective of His heart. An ever-growing, incredibly surprising, parallel.

We have seen through our children, our own need for His guidance, and yet at times, a foolish resistance to His wiser plan. We understand on a new level, His intricate knowledge of our real self, along side His insatiable desire to be connected with us on a deeper and deeper level.

The expanding love for our own children has only magnified the knowledge of God’s immeasurable love toward us. I have only begun to realize – I am My Father’s baby – just like each of my kids are my babies. His heart hurts, and stings, and hopes, and rejoices over me, just as I do over them. Mercy.

O Lord, I see a little bit of why You love us so. We are Your children, but You are far beyond a Daddy. You are our Creator, our Savior, our God. And so I will forever be… Your baby.

ForGlorySake!Anna

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
– GOD
Isaiah 49:15
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Once Again -Acceptance

 Last night we sat in a large circle with other parents of kids in recovery. Sharing desires and thoughts on the topic of the night, a counselor was present to keep everyone on track, and to occasionally throw in their two cents.

As the stories and struggles unfolded, it reminded me of so much mess we can’t see. I thought of our plumbing issues. When our house was built a little bit of glue was forgotten in the exit tubing of our sewage pipe. Because it was buried 12 ft. underground, no one had a clue of the disaster happening just outside.

The first signs of trouble came 5 years post move-in, when waste water bubbled up in the basement bathtub! Lots of panic ensued and $4000 later, as Bob and Larry uncovered our poop cavern with a backhoe… a cheap $4 tube of glue corrected the problem.

These troubles we hash out weekly are messes we didn’t see coming. Precious babies, adorable children, yet something changed. Who’s fault was it? Lots of whys. And still it’s in acceptance, I find peace. Be still and know He is God. Just do the next thing. Hope in the LORD. Trust God with the outcome.

Catch phrases I used during this crappy situation in our life. Our child is sober today. Many others are not. We have been where these parents sit… it’s gut wrenching. Letting go and letting God dig up the mess is the only hope for repair.

For Glory Sake! -Anna

Fertilizer always makes the flowers grow 🙂
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Grace When You Need It

Today I attended a funeral. A Life Celebration. A man from our church died unexpectedly of a brain aneurism. amazingly he remained alive for a week in ICU. Many people became involved praying and hoping and waiting for him to wake up and go home to his wife and 4 young girls. He did not. 

I did not know this family personally, but I felt emotionally invested. I had prayed so hard and followed their story with all the other members of our church, I had to go. There was large crowd and a lot of emotion. How many of us were meeting them for the first time?

The man’s older brother told funny stories. His oldest daughter (15) spoke of the courage and vision her father had given to her. But the wife… she was the one that took my breath. That could’ve been me two and a half years ago… How did she even have a voice? It was supernatural. I remember she said, “He loved me first.” Not that she had been his first love, but that he put her first. She never doubted he thoughtfully considered any and every decision to be for her best, and the family’s best interest.

So well put and something I won’t forget. That is what make submission easy. When you know your spouse is out for your good. Assuming love, makes all the difference. She went on to challenge husbands to love their wives as her husband did, and challenged wives to assume 1st that their husband is always out for their good. Sweet words and so very true!

Just as we love Him because He first loved us… so I can love and trust my husband because he loves me first as well. 

ForGlorySake! -Anna

1st love and loved 1st
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So Long Insecurity!

I heard it takes about 30 days to exchange a positive habit for a negative one. Exercise, eating habits, word choices, work ethics, attitudes. I used to play and replay negative mental recordings in my head. I would put myself down, cut myself up, was brutally critical. I never shared these with anyone until I met my husband. He was horrified, and helped me change God’s thoughts and his thoughts for my crippling ones. But it took time.

It was my husband’s persistent, unconditional love that really helped. I needed accountability. Like any addict, I would quickly revert to old habits. His constant use of God’s words began to change my thinking patterns. He was so very long-suffering those first months married, we’ve joked that he saved us 1000’s of dollars in counseling! God knew I needed a tangible person -speaking His Word- directly to me.

What a blessing to marry someone I could fully trust. What started as a daily struggle taking every thought captive came more and more easily. I eventually learned which situations caused me the greatest struggle and avoided them… like the plague! It took more than 30 days to get it on remote control, but totally with the effort.

It is possible to change. Accountability is key. And love. And God’s rich word. There is freedom like I never expected. God bless ALL the long-suffering, loving, encouraging spouses out there. Don’t give up! Hang in there a new habit awaits.

ForGlorysake!Anna

Soaking in the Word
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Waiting

Waiting on God is no easy business. Even the folks in heaven have been told to wait patiently (Rev. 6:11). Sometimes I’ve had that secure feeling of being held in God’s loving arms. Other times it’s more like I’m dangling in the breeze. I know from past experience so much of this battle is lost or won in my mind. I am what I feed myself. 

All that God has offered me is available for the asking. However, it helps to know what to ask for. When I fix my heart and mind on Him I stay in perfect peace… no matter the storm that rages. God is stable, He is solid. I just have to choose to soak in His Word when the going gets tough. Repeating scriptures like Psalm 91 with all of it’s wonderful promises gives me just what I need to tie to. An anchor for my soul. 

This is how I walk in the dark (so to speak). How I keep breathing and doing the next thing. Another help is encouraging testimonials. Right now I’m listening to So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, and just this morning I drank in Popular by Tindell Baldwin. I literally couldn’t put it down! While we wait, God will send the most amazing stories, if we ask Him. He knows what we need for encouragement.

Our daughter is facing a struggle with college. There are some difficulties, we can’t sweep away for her. Its hard to watch. I know waiting is never what we want, and many times what God uses to bring maturity. He alone holds the keys to her future. It is both frustrating and exciting to think I can not understand His ways. Yet we can always trust Him…

(trials)Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine. Even gold which can be destroyed is tested by fire; and so your faith, which is much more precious than gold must be tested, so that it may endure. Then you will receive praise and glory and honor on the Day when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1Peter 1:7

ForGlorySake! -Anna

expect and wait patiently for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Jude 1:21
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Thoughts and Plans

I lie awake thinking of You, meditating on You through the night. Psalms 63:6 
Technically I grew up with air-conditioning, however, my parents used it as a last resort. Sometime in late July or August they would turn it on… occasionally, not 24/7. I remember lying in my attic bedroom enjoying the loud attic fan above me, as it sucked in damp air from outside. Dreading the moment it would turn off, I listened for the ticks of the timer before it stopped.

Last night I lay awake again, having forgotten how hot June can be. The upstairs AC unit is out and money for repairs has not been available. The days and nights are growing long. I began thinking of God, wondering what He was thinking of me. I know He thinks of me from Psalm 139. Sometimes I just want a reminder that what I’m living through is not only known by God, but He’s with me in it, ready to teach me something.

I began to pray, Lord, show me how You’ve been thinking of me, and what You’ve planned for these moments. I know nothing separates me from Your loving kindness (Isaiah 54:10). Moments later, my sweet husband rolled over to snuggle and say what a joy it was to wake up close. I marveled. I knew God was answering my prayer. He was showing me again, that He had provided for me in a mate. Someone special to walk through life with. A best friend to share all these crazy things. How gracious, how precious. 

With our open windows, we heard birds chirping everywhere outside. Another moment I would have missed with the AC on.  The air had cooled considerably in the house and we both were suddenly so thankful for the pleasant early morning, we grabbed hands to pray at the same moment. Yet another blessing God gave. We shared thankfulness, joy in each other and hope for a new day. We shared Jesus.

By this point I was completely overwhelmed with how God had answered my prayer, and filled my heart to bursting. Forgiven, whole, free… His thoughts are too wonderful. I couldn’t say another word. God had shown me his thoughts and plans. Intimate, personal, carefully crafted. More lovingkindness than I fathomed. Bring on the day, God thinks of me!

ForGlorySake! –Anna

For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you… Isaiah 54:10
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*Inspiration

“… I will trust in Him and not be afraid. The LORD GOD is my strength and my song; He has given me victory.” Isaiah 12:2
I’m thinking about my friend who’s had cancer for a really long time. Not a kind many get over. However, she not only lives… she thrives! Endless chemo, blood tests and scans. Sometimes painful procedures… yet she’s cute and sassy and determined to do things herself. I dare you to pick her out of a crowd and label her sick – Hah! She fools everyone, mostly because she’s always talking about anything but herself. Instead, she usually asking how you are and complementing something.

When I think of trials, I think of my friend. When I think of faith, I think of my friend. When I think of trusting God for what has to be endured, I can’t help but think of my friend. She’s an inspiration. She’s working out her life one step at a time, many, many days in a row. Though her cancer is a fact, it doesn’t seem to be a weight around her neck. How does she rise above this dreaded diagnosis and continual irritation? She tells me, God is her strength, that He gives her the victory for one more day. He seems not only to carry her, but to distract her… with Himself, and with other people. She loves other people!  

Lord, help me find:

all that’s You, and the Glory You shine,

the blessings You bring, the work that is mine.

Lord, don’t let me miss:

 the treasures You offer, a message to share,

moments of worship, Your call to prayer.

Lord, give me Your view:

of troubles that come, of trial after trial,

and the miracles offered me, mile after mile.

Lord, help me see:

Your wondrous works, Your miraculous signs,

a word for today, how best to use time.

 ForGlorySake! –Anna

My Inspiring Biblestudy Girlfriends
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My 3 Favorite Summer Recipes!

Other than A LOT of fruit and the daily BIG salad these have been some of my favs:

Hummus:

(This is an approximate recipe. Tweak it to your taste buds:)

1/2 lb. presoaked dry chick peas or NO salt canned
1 lemon squeezed
3-4 heaping tsp of minced garlic
9-15 (NO salt) calamato olives and 2-3 tsp of their juice (or No salt black olives work well)
1-2 tblsp cumin
1 tblsp Braggs Liquid Aminos
3-4 heaping tblsp tahini paste (sesame butter)

IMG_3940

Hummus

Put all ingredients in a food processor and blend. For a smoother consistency you can add some water once the taste is where you want it. I eat with gluten-free corn chips!

Potato Salad w/Avocado Dressing:

3-4 ears corn, roasted and cut from the cob or substitute approximately 2 cups frozen (thawed) -when fresh isn’t available
3 cups cooked black black beans or two (No salt)15 ounce cans
2 cups grape tomatoes, sliced in half
2 cups diced boiled potatoes, cooled
1 cup diced red onion
1 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
2 avocados, pitted and diced
3-4 limes, juiced
2-3 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 tsp ground chili ancho or to taste (opt)
1/2 tsp ground chili chipolte or to taste
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp raw honey, agave nectar OR coconut nectar (optional)
Preparation:
In a large bowl combine the fist 6 ingredients.
***Juice 3 limes and place the juice in the bowl of a food processor along with the avocados, 2 tbsp of vinegar, both chili powders, salt and honey. Process until smooth and creamy. Taste and add the remaining lime juice and vinegar if desired. I like lots of lime flavor so I normally use all 4 limes.
Pour over the black bean mixture and gently stir to combine.
Chill 30 minutes to an hour and serve.

Vegan potato salad

Vegan potato salad

 3 Bean Salad:

15oz. can No salt white Navy beans

15oz. can No salt pinto beans

15oz can No salt black eyed peas

15oz. can No salt small white corn

15oz can No salt chopped tomatoes

1 whole bunch cilantro chopped

I whole chopped onion or bunch of green onions (for milder flavor)

2-4 tblsp of your favorite vinaigrette (I love Ken’s light Caesar Dressing)
Toss & enjoy!

IMG_3801

3 Bean Salad

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God's Past Faithfulness Deserves My Present Trust

Why does God allow seasons of suffering to linger on and on? My husband and I, have just walked through 5 of the hardest years of our married life! Areas in health, finances, business, children, and aging parents. Many times it has seemed too much. When we’d finally come up for air, something new would hit. Images of huge waves in a rough ocean come to mind. Simply exhausting.

What did we do to deserve all this? You begin to wonder and try to figure it out. It’s human to want to know why. Thankfully our questioning led us to seek God. I found comfort in  the Bible. I never felt closer to the Lord, as in the midst of these storms. I found He wanted me to focus on what instead of why. What could He possibly be doing through this? What did He want me learn?  What could I get out of it? I began to feel increasingly sure that God had allowed every experience for a purpose.

My husband, on the other-hand did not feel this same closeness or purpose. Analytically, he always believed God was in control, but also that sin (being in the world) had brought these things into our lives. We both believed God would not waste a single experience or heart-ache; they could be used for His glory. Still, I wanted so much for him to feel peace.

Hebrews 12: 10-11 talks about training…“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child He loves that He disciplines; the child He embraces, He also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training.”

God is looking for completion (Philippians 1:6). I know He isn’t finished with us yet.
Some storms come as consequences of our own foolishness and disobedience, and come because we live in a fallen sin-riddled world. No matter how we feel living through them, they are used for our training. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28). And if we wait patiently, He will show us how. 

 ForGlorySake! – Anna

God’s past faithfulness deserves our present trust.
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Overwhelmed? Take 3

Groceries, meals, laundry, dishes, carpool, sport’s schedules… exercise. I can’t seem to keep up with it all. I’m terrified something will be forgotten. It’s only been an issue it was somebody forgotten! Occasionally control-freak comes to mind as I obsess over a small task in the midst of a really hectic day. As if by getting this one thing done (sweep out the garage) will somehow fix all the stray ends.

No matter how you slice it, I’ve felt overwhelmed. There are lot of things that have to get done, basic needs… and I’m the most available to do them. Clean the house, organize stuff, get kids where they need to go, purchase food and make dinner. I confessed to my husband my current struggle. He stopped what he was working on to listen. Frustration turned to tears as I blurted, ” I can’t get all the blah blah done and I’m just not like so-and-so and I’ll never be able to do such-and-such. I don’t think this is ever going to change.” My sweet husband just held me. He reassured that he loves me exactly the way I am, and he thanked me, encouraging me in every way. 

Beside taking on some grocery shopping and having the children help more around the house… he wanted me to make a wish list of 3 things he could do to bring me peace on a daily basis. We then decided on 3 apiece- for each other. Words of encouragement were my number 1. They actually mean more to me than taking out the trash or helping with dishes (although that’s good too). Purposeful hugs and kisses, sitting close every evening were at the top of his. He likes that more than a hot meal ready by a certain time.

This has lightened my load more than I can say! It greatly helps me prioritize. When I think I need to do this or that, I now have a list of top priorities. Yes, we still have sport’s practice and eat dinner and eventually get dishes and clothes washed, but the stress and strain is gone. Instead of just getting it done, we are trying to do more together and our “to dos” are so much more enjoyable 😉

I pray this might be the stress-reliever for you too.

ForGlorySake! – Anna

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