Life seemed simple during the early years of child-rearing. It wasn’t easy but planning ahead helped and other than a tantrum or the flu everything moved along on a schedule (literally). Then middle school and teenagers happened and life got messy. The family environment I’d so carefully crafted and nurtured was being invaded and questioned. I hadn’t counted on that. What was happening? I felt incredibly unprepared for our children’s independence.
I’d prayed for years that they would catch my desire to be a light in the darkness, a hope for the hurting; joy to the brokenhearted… share Jesus with everyone. And they did. I hoped we would encourage other kids and their families. But in such a short while… poor choices brought attention to our family. This was not at all what I expected. Not at all what I’d planned for. It was like living through an ongoing train wreck -while so many around us just watched.
Jesus’s ways are certainly not mine. So many things I can’t understand – I stopped trying. Instead I focused every ounce of faith on waiting for His Glory, because He is faithful! I determined to stand strong and trust Him- through the chaos and the shame…things I could not change, but He could use. And He showed me Tools like praise, prayer, and study to make me stronger. I found Hope.
I’ll be the first to admit it’s been a struggle to let go of the image I had of a perfect family; all the pieces fitting nicely together and everything playing out according to plan. But who do I think I am dictating how The Creator can use what HE’s made? If HIS Glory lies in using a mess -so be it! As long as I have Jesus… I am a Light in the darkness, Hope for the hurting and Joy to the brokenhearted. He can use any of us in the chaos. It’s not too late. A city on a hill shines. Trust Him to use what you give, no matter how small. He’s got this…
ForGlorySake! -Anna
Anna – your family is light in darkness and a beacon that points to a very real redeemer. It’s just that your individual family members had to find the dark places that they were best fitted (molded) to shine. And, the darkness that each person in your family walked through has enriched their witness & testimony about His light in their lives. I admire your transparency; it makes you more of a vessel or lantern of His light.
Thank you Carl, I’m humbled you read this and honored you pray! Bless your family (hug everyone for me)
Your comments are balm to me- I miss seeing you this summer! Can’t wait for Biblestudy to start back up 🙂