Pancakes..and a side of Jesus

Posted on April 13, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

Our second-born attracts strays. Not animals, but kids. Since he turned about 8, we’ve seen a steady stream of boys following him into our yard and into the house. It didn’t matter age or social status. We were soon over-run with boys eating and sleeping in our home.

As I’ve written before, this brought positives and negatives. In hind-sight, my husband and I were very naive, yet I believe God used what we offered in His name. He heard every prayer and will bring a return on every Word of His spoken.

Today, we again have a steady stream of boys through here. The Insight Program uses a buddy system with an individual sponsor and a safety-net of peers for each kid. They’re all after the same goal – sobriety. And they all have accountability. Such a blessing.

New faces sleep on our couches and eat at the kitchen counter. I dare say, some of my friends think we’re nuts to be doing this again, but our hearts have not changed. We still want to love lost boys and share Jesus with a side of pancakes or homemade cookies. There’s a lot of help this time – a whole program!

ForGlorySake! -Anna

” This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won’t lose out on a thing.” Matt 10:42
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Show Me Your Glory!

Posted on April 12, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

Over our front door, in permanent marker are the words, “Show Me Your Glory” Exodus 33:18. They were written in 2009 in a moment of complete desperation for God to reveal Himself to me and our family.

David and I realized we had a child who was struggling with life. He was restless, unsettled, moody, discontent. there was an unseen darkness I constantly fought with prayer. In a moment’s time, everything came to light.

A neighbor opened our eyes to activities at our home with neighborhood boys. We were completely unaware. Imagine the embarrassment. All the while, we’d been sharing our hearts with these same kids… We were shocked. And so hurt.

Our focus narrowed quickly to just the family, sending everyone else away. With open eyes and a better understanding, we set to heal and repair everything we could. Onto this scene came David’s cancer…

I wanted so much to believe the worst was behind us, that this would somehow be a time of healing. As we did grow closer, more disfunction came to light. By 1/2012 we realized we needed outside help. Looking back from this side of everything, it has been perfect in timing. Each event opened the door for the next. God used everything!

Healing has come and I don’t want to forget. If I had large stones I’d pile them in the yard so our grandchildren would ask “why are those there?” and I could say, “Oh honey, let me tell you what God did!”

ForGlorySake! -Anna

Show Me Your Glory! Exodus 33:18
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Finding Your "Ministry"

Posted on April 11, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

I always wanted to do something big and significant for God… maybe become a missionary! I hoped He’d send someone to tell me what it would do.  I waited, but no one came. Then I heard that God would use my talents. I was a ballet dancer, so I thought that must be it. I’ll be a star and tell the world about Jesus. Things didn’t work out quite that way.

At almost 19, living in a small studio apartment in San Francisco, I began to wonder if my ministry would EVER start. I assumed I just wasn’t good enough yet. Class after class, performance after performance… I was not becoming anything, but sore and underpaid. After a year of this, I got on my knees with a friend from home and we lifted our voices together, asking God if surely there wasn’t something more out there for ballet-trained Christians. We dreamed of how cool it would be to dance for the LORD!

That summer I left SFB for The Atlanta Ballet and free room & board with Mom and Dad. Where was God in all this? I struggled with being the freaky “Christian girl,” who didn’t date, didn’t smoke, didn’t drink and was always reading her Bible. I was DESPERATE for answers. They finally came in May, when I heard about a traveling Christian ballet company in Jackson, Mississippi. I went for an audition, loved every step and came back to cancel my contract.

Traveling across the United States, presenting the Gospel through ballet, I learned that ALL of my life was a ministry.  As a child, it had been my new found joy in Jesus. As a teenager, a hunger to know His Word. As a young adult, a strong conviction and foolhardy love for others. Even looking a little freaky as I searched for God’s will… had been a witness to some.

Revelation! It was not a job that made me significant for God, it was a heart to live for Him. Jesus commanded us to love and by that love show we are His. No need to wait, we’re doing it now, by being who God created us to be: loving who’s close at hand, serving who’s near by. Doing ALL in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Because, nothing for God is ever wasted. 

ForGlorySake! –Anna

Ballet Magnificat 1988
“…. my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for Him is a waste of time or effort.” 1Corinthians 15:58
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Silence Is Golden

Posted on April 4, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

I went for a run at a nearby park. A half mile from the car I finally untangled my earphones and tried to turn on music. No sound. Opening the back of my MP3, I discovered – no batteries! Too far to turn back now, I kept on in silence. Usually don’t like to hear myself breathe. Interesting… miles of silence. I prayed and cried. Today, my heart is overwhelmed. So Many thoughts coming fast. Our son has had a revelation that God Can for him, a huge turning over of his will. My thinking slowed with my pace and I marveled at God’s faithfulness. It was refreshing and soul-lifting. As I left, I kept the silence and waited for God’s impression. This is a journey, one day at a time and yes, I can for him.

Noise

Noise surrounds us day by day

Say to the silence, it’s ok

Turn off the sounds, listen to breath 

run for a while in silence.

Sit alone, don’t be afraid

Look more carefully at what God made

Take a walk, slow it down

Take your walk in silence.

Ask your questions, state your mind

Think a minute, listen a while

Wait for answers He’s waited to give

Find your peace in silence.

Noisy noise, too much sound

Search for quiet til it’s found

Treasure rare is waiting you

Spend some time with silence.

-Anna 4/2012

ForGlorySake! -Anna

peace
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God Speaks To Me

Posted on March 30, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

Today I asked God specific questions. I really needed insight into parenting our son. This week has been particularly trying and I’m hoping for some new encouragement to keep going. Are we even headed in the right direction?

I know God to be faithful and trustworthy. I know Him to be loving and merciful, and yet this feels so very chastening and disciplinary. Maybe we are right in the center of His will, but I need clarity!

Addiction, its chaos and the recovery process is a continual fight against guilt for most parents. Why didn’t we realize what was going on? Why didn’t we act sooner? What did we do wrong with this one child? What could we have done differently? 

I sat down with Bible, journal and pen. I told God the whole thing fresh, as If He had no idea where I was coming from. It helped just to talk it out. I wrote my questions and found answers:

1. What is the plan?  -“My plans are not the same plans as you’ve thought of, My ways aren’t the same ways you come up with and think of using.” Isaiah 55:8

2.Why aren’t You coming and rescue us from all of this?  -“I will be found by you, I will end your ‘captivity’ and restore your fortunes, I will get you out of all the places I’ve driven you, I’m going to bring you home.” Jeremiah 29:13 

3. Ok, but when? It already seems late and I can’t see how! -“I AM not slow in keeping my promises as you think of slowness, I AM patient with you…” 2 Peter 2:9

4. Well then, what do I do in the meantime? I don’t know what I should do today.  -“Don’t worry. I will certainly care for you.” Matthew 6:30 & 31, “Go out and work in the vineyard today.” Matthew 21:28

5. Lord, is my vineyard here at home? I’ve lost all confidence. Show me how to do this.  -“Although I have given you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, I AM with you to teach you. You will see Me with your eyes and you will hear Me with your ears. Right behind you My voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left”. Isaiah 30: 20 & 21

Thank You. 

You are my Bread of Life for the bread of adversity and my Living Water for the water of affliction.

ForGlorySake! – Anna

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My Heart

Posted on March 28, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

My Father holds my broken heart

in His loving Creator hands.

I can trust Him with my pain,

I can trust Him with my wounds.

The past, the future, today.

All my bandaging and patch-jobs He sees.

Then ever so carefully removes my human attempts at salving.

His touch healing… complete and total healing.

He makes new what was destroyed.

He brings faith, where all trust was lost.

He knows the beginning from the end.

I am never a surprise to Him.

He’s there, hands ready for impossible troubles.

….“Silly child, there are no impossibilities with Me! Come now, hand it over – you’ll see.” – Anna 3/2012

ForGlorySake! -Anna

Art by Sarah Etheriedge
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Finding Freedom

Posted on March 27, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

I used to blame God for not answering my prayers. I lived angry for years. Not even sure exactly who I was mad at. I was mostly mad at me. I could not get what I wanted. Life just wasn’t working out as I planned.

Completely self-absorbed, I thought I was being faithful and doing all the right things. Yet each effort failed, so I figured something must be wrong with me. Constant frustration took it’s toll as I took matters into my own hands… not a pretty sight.

My problem? I was never thin enough, flexible enough, fast enough, proficient enough. I lived, slept and breathed ballet, and it was like a never ending game where the rules kept changing, becoming more and more difficult. I could not seem to gain perspective or rational thinking. 

It took me years to realize I was fighting God. I wanted Him to conform me to my plans. He was holding strong waiting for me to submit to His. It wasn’t until I let go, and stopped all foolish pushing, that I was able to open my mind to seeing anything His way.

It took time, a rework of my thoughts, a humble acceptance that He had made me and might know best. Then peace came. Freedom is the most delicious treasure when you have none. It’s worth dying for – So, I died to my self. And became free to be all He created me to be!

I hear people say, “reach for your dreams, don’t let anything get in your way.” Silently I shake my head because, I tried that miserable path and have scars to prove it. There is only One Way, One Truth, One Life and if you aren’t humbly open to His plan… you haven’t even begun to live!

Give God a chance to show you what He’s created you for. And peace, will flood your heart and mind beyond understanding in Christ Jesus.

ForGlorySake! -Anna

sweet freedom
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Dirty Dog

Posted on March 26, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

We have a crazy 5 year old bird dog that lives for a chance to squeeze between you and the door and get out. He then runs through our neighborhood at 30+ mph non-stop! Finally, when he can go no further without water, he rolls in something stinky and comes home. My reaction is always the same. “Don’t let that dog in here, he smells terrible!” He will sit out back yard with a pitiful look on his face.

Just this weekend it happened again. I had no time to deal with it. Our sweet 11 year old animal lover, full of compassion, looks at that dirty dog with such sympathy and says, “But, Momma, he can’t clean himself.” Ahhh, the truth and the lesson of that!

Aren’t we all dirty dogs at one time or another? For whatever crazy reason, our good, safe boundaries are not enough, so we squeeze out feeling so clever and free only to find that whatever pleasure there was to be had is short-lived and carries consequences. Rats! Now homeward bound in search of living water…

We however, are admitted stink and all. And God in His gracious mercy ALWAYS has the time to deal with our mess. He’s never surprised and never turns away a pitiful soul that wants back in. Sigh

As I washed and washed and washed my dog today, I thought of how many times I have been just like him… going back and rolling in the same ‘ol stink. I thanked my loving Heavenly Father for His patience with me in getting off the poo and showing me a better way.

Thank You Lord for the lesson. Help me to have more compassion on the dirty dogs in my life. You are such a good and gentle Master.

ForGlorySake! -Anna

clean Buddy
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Round And Round

Posted on March 25, 2012 by For Glory Sake!
Round and Round
We laugh, we cry, get on our knees,
Anguished sighs, God’s heard our pleas
The future seems much less than clear
There’s a purpose, somewhere here.
prodigal changed; we marvel at Him
Look at each other & start it again…
 
Round & round & round we go
Where’s the stop? I dont know.
Are we up? Are we down?
Simply feels like round & round
Life looks messy seems unfair
Yet I trust my God is there!
 
How much more can we endure
Yet God is moving, that’s for sure
Feel like saying, “Im all done”
But He’s in charge, He’s the One
Who takes the messes of my days
and changes them in awesome ways!
 
Round & round & round we go
Where’s the stop? I dont know.
Are we up? Are we down?
Simply feels like round & round
Life looks messy seems unfair
Yet I trust my God is there!– Anna 3/2012
 
ForGlorySake! -Anna
dizzy yet?
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God Our Enabler

Posted on March 25, 2012 by For Glory Sake!

God is my enabler! Paul writes quite a bit about this:

“So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to ENABLE you to live a life worthy of His call. May He give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11 

“And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that ENABLE you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” 2 Peter 1:4

Enabling has a double meaning. Lately I’ve learned about its negative effect in addiction. The best intentions can perpetuate destructive behavior, if an individual is not held accountable for their own actions. 

God will never enable my poor choices. Although, He does allow them. He will however, enable my desires to do good, when I ask for help. He strengthens me beyond anything I can muster up in myself, giving me both the His power and His promises to do the right thing.

What’s the most important thing to do? Love. In my own power, I will fail. But by God’s Spirit, I am always enabled.
        
ForGlorySake! – Anna

“It’s God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ.”  2 Corinthians 1:21

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