I used to blame God for not answering my prayers. I lived angry for years. Not even sure exactly who I was mad at. I was mostly mad at me. I could not get what I wanted. Life just wasn’t working out as I planned.
Completely self-absorbed, I thought I was being faithful and doing all the right things. Yet each effort failed, so I figured something must be wrong with me. Constant frustration took it’s toll as I took matters into my own hands… not a pretty sight.
My problem? I was never thin enough, flexible enough, fast enough, proficient enough. I lived, slept and breathed ballet, and it was like a never ending game where the rules kept changing, becoming more and more difficult. I could not seem to gain perspective or rational thinking.
It took me years to realize I was fighting God. I wanted Him to conform me to my plans. He was holding strong waiting for me to submit to His. It wasn’t until I let go, and stopped all foolish pushing, that I was able to open my mind to seeing anything His way.
It took time, a rework of my thoughts, a humble acceptance that He had made me and might know best. Then peace came. Freedom is the most delicious treasure when you have none. It’s worth dying for – So, I died to my self. And became free to be all He created me to be!
I hear people say, “reach for your dreams, don’t let anything get in your way.” Silently I shake my head because, I tried that miserable path and have scars to prove it. There is only One Way, One Truth, One Life and if you aren’t humbly open to His plan… you haven’t even begun to live!
Give God a chance to show you what He’s created you for. And peace, will flood your heart and mind beyond understanding in Christ Jesus.
ForGlorySake! -Anna
