David loves that I get fired up. He appreciates my enthusiasm and joy. But I can also be so disappointed and crushed when discouraging things happen… especially things with our kids. We have been struggling lately with growing pains in two of our teens. I’m sure it is a challenge for them to have us back home after almost 2 months! None of this has been ideal.
My husband is so even-tempered. He never goes overboard emotionally. He reminds me that we are all sinful and maturity is a process. But I am truly concerned by what I’m seeing: changed habits, attitudes, friends. Feral cats. I feel a dark cloud spiritually – in the house and I am on the war-path in prayer.
I remember Elisabeth Elliot talking about asking God to take her mountains and valleys and level them out, only this came mostly with maturity in the Lord. I need that maturity. I love the highs of rejoicing, but these lows are the pits! How can I keep my joy AND pray the darkness away?
Possibly, my heart is too tied up in our children. And yet, this is the job God gave me. I am to train and teach these souls. I long for them to love Christ and desire to do His will. I pray for them to want to, because I know I can’t do it for them. This alone keeps me on my knees.
My heart breaks over bad decisions and wrong choices – choices that will bring regret. There is NO fool-proof child rearing manual. Every heart is different. As my mom says, “some just kick against the goads,” I cling to the fact that David and I dedicated our Marriage and then each child to Jesus. We have asked for them to be blessed according to the promises in His word:
“Because You have blessed them, God, they are really blessed – blessed for good!” 1 Chronicles 17:27
“They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.” Isaiah 65:23
These are His promises, so I am trusting Him with the timing. Give us wisdom. -Anna
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