Friday night we hosted all the guys from Ben’s sobriety program. What an awesome group of about 60 (age 15 to young 20s). I love their stories, I love their eyes, those that will look at me. Clear. Some only look at the ground and I want so much for them to know they are loved and accepted and bought with a price.
They ate up the brownies I made, batch after batch. In a short while I gained the name “Momma Bean” -after Ben, they call Bean. Some let me hug them, a few stopped to talk. As one kiddo told me his journey, it took everything I had not to squeeze him up tight. Instead I just said what I always say when one of these kids opens up, “Do you have any idea how incredibly blessed you are?? You should be dead, dead, dead 10 times over and yet God has put His hand on you and brought you through because He loves you so much. I am so proud of you and admire what you are doing! Way to go!“
They just blush and smile and tell Ben later, “You’re mom is crazy.” I am crazy, crazy in love with these addicts God has brought into our lives! Amazing how He prepared us years ago back in 2009, when we housed teen boys that Ben brought home. Of course, that all turned out poorly when we found out they were sharing things other than just the basement!
I was so crushed then, so broken hearted. I tried so hard to be a godly influence in their lives. I had written out many verses for those boys and prayed non-stop. We had taken them to church. It was back in those days that I wrote over our front door, “Show Me Your Glory” Ex 33:18. I desperately wanted help from God, to know we were not wasting our time.
I didn’t realize yet that God never wastes anything! He was teaching us and preparing our family for today; using everything for His glory. Thursday night at Insight’s weekly parent meeting Ben awarded me and David with a wooden heart necklace for attending support-group for a year. In front of 70+ adults he honored us with words of gratitude and love. He gave God the glory for a dad that exemplifies Him. Many were touched and I thought I’d pop with joy. Could I get anyone to realize what God had done??
It was enough for us to laugh and smile at each other all the way home. God is so good. He hears every heart-cry. He uses our messes in His plan. I am forever grateful for where we are today and we would not be here, but by where we have been. So I say “Thank You, Lord, for this incredible journey we’re on and for never leaving us alone.”