The Squirming Place

The squirming place lies between prayers sent, and answers that come. It’s when I’ve called out and even surrendered my will, but there’s silence. I can feel the anxiety and suffering, yet relief is only hoped for.

Why does God always seem to allow this gap? What is gained from it? I swear I’ve been here more times than I can count, with my husband’s health… This time its ophthalmic herpes zoster – with presentation of migraine or Shingles in the eye. The rarest of all shingle types.

I hate the pain. I hate the wait.

It got me thinking about how instantaneous Jesus’ miracles were. Hands touched a patient or words were spoken, and boom, they were whole. Why not now?

…Then, I felt God ask me, “Did the healing happen the moment they got sick?”

… Umm, no. There were hours and days, maybe years prior to that scene. Each of those people had a tale to tell of before they met Jesus. What I read in the gospels was their encounter with healing. Wow

So, God has always had a plan? I know this! …He knows what He’s doing? I know this too… Still, why does He allow the space for waiting? I have no idea and He is not telling. It’s up to me to trust His timing when it doesn’t make sense.

Can I tell Him I don’t like it? That I think it’s too long or it’s too much? Yes, I think I can… knowing in the end, I may never get all the data.

I heard a quote recently that made me think: “God gives you what you would have asked for, had you known everything that He knows.” – John Newton

I don’t know how that’s possible, because I can’t imagine asking for suffering. And yet, God uses it throughout the scriptures. It sadly seems to be part of our lives and God does not shy away from this fact.

Jesus promised we would have troubles, however we are to take courage in the fact that He has overcome the world. John 16:33. And how did He do it?… Through His suffering.

ForGlorySake! -Anna