The Squirming Place

The squirming place lies between prayers sent, and answers that come. It’s when I’ve called out and even surrendered my will, but there’s silence. I can feel the anxiety and suffering, yet relief is only hoped for.

Why does God always seem to allow this gap? What is gained from it? I swear I’ve been here more times than I can count, with my husband’s health. This time its ophthalmic herpes zosterwith presentation of migraine or Shingles in the eye. The rarest of all shingles’ types.

I hate the pain. I hate the wait.

It got me thinking about how instantaneous Jesus’ miracles were. Hands touched a patient or words were spoken, and boom, they were whole. Why not now? …Then, I felt God ask me, “Did the healing happen the moment they got sick?”Umm, no. There were hours and days and sometimes years prior to those scenes. Each of those people had a tale of time before that moment. What I read in the gospels and epistles is their encounter with healing. Wow

So, God has always had a plan. I know this! He knows what He’s doing. I know this too. Still, why does He allow the space for waiting? I have no idea and He is not telling. It’s up to me to trust His timing even when it doesn’t make sense. Can I tell Him I don’t like it? That I think it’s too long or it’s too much? Yes, I think I can… knowing in the end, I just will never have all the data.

I heard a quote recently that really made me think: “God gives you what you would have asked for, had you known everything that He knows.” – John Newton

I don’t know how that’s possible, because I can’t imagine asking for suffering. And yet, God uses it all throughout the scriptures. It sadly seems to be part of our lives and God does not shy away from this fact. Jesus promised we would have troubles, however take courage in the fact that He overcame the world. John 16:33. How did He do that? Through suffering.

ForGlorySake! -Anna

Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes  his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
Isaiah 53:10
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