In 1985 I moved to San Francisco alone to dance full-time with their ballet company. Fresh out of high school, my dream was coming true. I had trained with them summers prior, but this would be more …permanent. 😱
I rented a studio apartment on Market & 8th with a girl from LA. Paying bills, riding subways, grocery shopping for myself – all of it was new. Each day was a learning experience in independent “city life.”
What I cared about most was getting to class 4 blocks away! And of course getting a good part in the next SFB production.
My daily walk took me through downtown. Those blocks were literally full of people living everywhere. On the sidewalks and benches, in the park. I had never seen anything like it. Early morning and late at night we stepped around or over them to get to our door.
I started talking to Jesus more and more as He opened my eyes to the world around me. I was heartbroken at what I saw. My successes and failures paled in comparison. As compassion for humanity grew, so did the reality that “life wasn’t all about me.”
Those 16 months in California were some of my most difficult. A deep dependency and friendship grew with my Lord. Something that’s stayed with me all these years. How thankful I am now for that time. For His mercy, grace, patient protection, listening ear and Spirit-led guidance.
God did not leave me self-absorbed as I was, He sought me out and shook me up! Love, true Love, seeks to better us… make us more like Jesus. Sometimes that only comes through hard places, and lonely times of soul-wrestling.