Death's Door

I’ve posted a lot about nutrition lately… it’s been good to have something else to think about besides my mom’s health. She’s been bringing us a lot of concern since December when she fell.

Rapid decline began when my dad died in February. We believed for several weeks following, that she might join him at any moment. She really wanted to! Our kids started to gather at her bedside every night telling her goodnight and goodbye.They thought they wouldn’t see her in the morning. However, another day came. Finally my husband had us stop ending the day in this manner. Just a goodnight is sufficient.

Waiting for someone to pass every evening, can be emotionally unhealthy. Life needs to continue, especially daily joys over things like growing up! We want our children to be blessed by this time, not over-burdened. It’s been such a unique and special privilege to house and care for my parents until they go home.

Now again, we find ourselves at death’s door (per Hospice), waiting and wondering what the next moment will bring; when to call the family and when to make arrangements. It could be any time, they say. Yet in the midst of this, there are birthdays and a learner’s license, a graduation and many other exciting future plans to be made.

I feel emotionally yanked back and forth -accompanied by physical pain. Downstairs is one world, upstairs is another. We take shifts. The only solid ground is in the LORD. He encourages me again and again to ask Him for wisdom, err on the side of mercy and find my peace and Joy in Jesus.  Many times throughout the day I run to Him for a refocus.

This has been considerably more than we ever bargained for, but we also pray it will be used in our children’s lives. Far more than I could ask or think, right? Until then, I’m testing the depths of God’s grace – I’m sure I haven’t reached bottom yet!

ForGlorySake! -Anna

spring
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