For two plus years my husband and I gleaned information from a parent support group in conjunction to our son’s recovery/sobriety program. Each Thursday night different topics were discussed among the parents. One in particular came up again and again it was called “The Three C’s.
- We (as parents) had not Caused it. -i.e.: this issue of addiction with our kids.
- We could not Control it.
- We could not Cure it.
This came up so often probably because so many of us were riddled with: the guilt of where we had gone wrong, what else could possibly be tried to correct this horrific situation and who might we involve to fix it. My peace slowly came as I gave it all over to God (again and again) allowing Him to do what He wanted with our child and us. I learned to “Let Go and Let God”- a favorite Al-Anon saying.
With life as it is right now –caring for my Mom, who seems to be hanging onto life by a few threads– and life as it’s been, –my Dad passing in February after suffering with Dementia/Alzheimers for 3 or so years- I’ve been thinking a lot about those three C’s.
I didn’t Cause the illnesses or outcome for my parents either. So when decline happened and aging took over there was never any need for feelings of guilt. In this situation, someone had to take charge and neither my Mom or Dad brought the “chaos” of needing so much care.
I can not Control where this is going… how fast… or how slow. I have only to love and serve to the best of my ability (remaining conscious of my own well-being). Comfort and safety are all that are needed at this point – hard as it is to watch.
I can not Cure this end of life procedure. But, Hallelujah!, I know the One Who can. I’m am forever grateful to my parents for planning ahead, not by paying for coffins and funeral plots, but with their firmly placed Hope in The Creator of the universe and His Son Jesus Christ.
There again, I have found peace in letting God have His way with the souls He created. I can blame Him for everything and thank Him at the same time. He understands my limited thinking, my frustrated circular feelings and the whole role-of-sin in the world regarding sickness and death. I can trust Him, because He loves me wholly and completely. He even provided a way. He is the Cure.
ForGlorySake! – Anna