Our Biblestudy had an interesting discussion the other day on Love Languages” Gary Smalley made the term famous with his book by the same title. It basically discusses the form in which people like to give and receive love. What makes them feel most loved: gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service or touch?
Our discussion reminded me of a letter I wrote several years back to give to my girls when they get married. It’s something I believe strongly about, and something that isn’t always talked about enough. Enjoy!
“Girls, many books have been written about how to love your mate. Everyone needs to feel loved and discovering how your special someone perceives love is a great tool. But I want to tell you that among all the love languages… most men crave physical intimacy. It’s a huge part of what attracts them to marriage in the first place (especially Christian men). Otherwise they would be content to simply remain your friend. This amazing connection that God has gifted us with as wives, is the glue of oneness. Your Heavenly Father has called you to be closer to your husband than ANYONE else on earth. Our marriages are an amazing example of Christ and His body -the church (Ephesians. 5:31 & 32).
You know how God honors sowing and reaping. The Bible speaks again and again of this principle in the areas of money, time, wisdom, knowing God and even raising children. Sowing into your husband’s primary love language (as you wish he would do in yours) will only bring great reward also! This is your husband’s love language, speak it. Never begrudgingly, for you don’t belong to yourself any longer (1 Corinthians. 7:4). God has equipped you to uniquely fulfill a God-given need in your mate. And all of God’s gifts are good. This whole thing was His idea, so go to Him with your questions and concerns. Nothing is too small or too big for our Father. And I pray that the Lord tremendously blesses your oneness. -Love Mom”
“Give and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full-pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Luke 6:38