Maybe it would be different…

Had I not lost my 1st baby and 4th baby and 7th baby to miscarriage,

Had we not been given the gift of another son who overcame his past and grew and flourished and succeeded,

Had I not stood by my husband through colon cancer, resection, sepsis, ileostomy, take-down, and double inguinal hernia repair,

Had we not struggled through months of financial loss, building a business back while drowning in oceans of medical bills,

Had we not seen a child through rebellion, addiction, humiliation, out patient and recovery,

Had we not cared for and taken in aging parents with Alzheimer’s and dementia until the Lord took them home in front of us,

Had we not witnessed a daughter who pushed us away for several years, come home by way of Lyme Disease and it’s difficult diagnosis with long recovery,

He we not watched another son deal with the stress of graduating in chemical engineering while managing a long negation process for his 1st job, only to discover thyroid cancer in the midst of a world pandemic and receive surgery the day the country shut down,

Maybe… if I had not lived through those things… my prayer would be different. But as it stands and as I’ve prayed through all these trials, “Your will be done, LORD. Use all this for our good and Your glory. It’s not for me to change Your plan, but to ask You not to let us miss anything. Don’t waste any of it, Father. In Jesus Name.

ForGlorySake! –Anna

tossed
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Strengthen yourself in God

The story of David in the Bible is so exciting. Chapter after chapter he’s in the thick of battles and conflict, fighting, running for his life, even hiding in caves.

Protect me as You would protect the pupil of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. Psalms 17:8

You are my hiding place; you protect me from distress. You surround me with shouts of joy from those celebrating deliverance. (Selah) Psalms 32:7

So many beautiful songs in the book of Psalms were written by him during his struggles. Again and again he turns to God is anguish and sorrow, but ends in hope and praise.

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Psalm 116:3

I will offer to You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:17

Several of David’s songs correlate directly to the events of his life, found in the books of Samuel (1 & 2). The details of his trials bring these Psalms to life.

“For the choirmaster. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” A Miktama of David, when Saul sent men to watch David’s house in order to kill him. 1 Deliver me from my enemies, O my God; protect me from those who rise against me.” Psalm 59:1

Then Saul sent messengers to David’s house to watch him, in order to put him to death in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, told him, saying, “If you do not save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be put to death.” So Michal let David down through a window, and he went out and fled and escaped. 1 Samuel 19:11-12

What a great time, during covid19, quarantine 2020 to read through the book of Psalms! Morning and night they will offer an echo to your heart for guidance and help.

He said: “I love you, Lord, my source of strength! Psalm 18:1
But David strengthened himself in Yahweh his God. 1 Samuel 30:6

ForGlorySake! -Anna

For more study see: http://www.onethingministries.net/resources/articles/the-psalms-in-the-narrative-flow-of-davids-life/

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Psalm 23 & Covid19

Everyday of quarantine I’ve woken up with Psalm 23 ringing in my ears. Today I realized the correlations clearly after reading a fearful article in the paper on governmental control…

Ultimately the LORD is my Shepherd, not the president or the Governor, or the Mayor, or any other leader. God is sovereign: He wrote my days down, orders my path, holds my future.

He leads me beside quiet waters. God is having all of us rest, stay home, be together like never before. He is restoring our souls. As we allow, He’s getting us back on the right path for His Name sake.

There’s no real fear in the dark valley, our Shepherd is beside us to walk with us and comfort and console our hearts. He will never leave us or forsake us. We are not alone.

God will provide for His people in the midst of this life-threatening situation. We don’t need to fear death, because death only brings us face to face with God. He will cover us with His oil of gladness and fill us with His Spirit, like wine.

God literally chases down “the ones” He loves with goodness and faithfulness, loyalty and devotion… every day of our lives! And we will live with our Divine Host forever: today, in communion with God because of Jesus… and after death, with Him for all eternity.

Have no fear. It’s a win- win situation!
ForGlorySake! –Anna

I shall not be afraid
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A word I don’t like.

Cancer. Yuck. I heard it growing up regarding my grandfather. I was about 9. Not long after, I heard it again: my uncle, my grandmother, my two older sisters. It frightened me. The biggest shock came in 2010 when my husband 43, and dad to our 6, was diagnosed with colon-cancer. Complications, multiple surgeries, and a long stay in the hospital, did not give me any warm fuzzies for that word.

Here it was again. A lump found, the college clinic confirmed, ultra sound performed and appointment with a renown ENT… all in 7 days. After waiting 18 days for pathology on 4 biopsies, the rather large growth on our son’s thyroid was diagnosed “undetermined, but very suspect.” Surgery for a hemi-thyroidectomy was scheduled.

In the 7 weeks leading up to the procedure, Covid-19 attacked the world outside of China! In a matter of days, it reached our shores and everything began closing from universities to school, restaurants, businesses and beaches. Even dentists and eye care cancelled appointments. It was hard to keep up with how fast news was moving.

In His mercy, God provided one of the very last openings for outpatient surgery on march 18. Our amazing ENT, Dr. Athavale did an fantastic job! We are still praising God, the surgery actually happened. 7 weeks was not too long, 5:30am arrival was not too early, and the word cancer was not even too scary… because we serve a God who is BIGGER than viruses and lockdowns and diseases. He can, He will, He does!

Thank you Dr. A for being the healing hands He works through.

ForGlorySake! -Anna

Glad to be on this side 🙂

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End of me, best place to be!

Today I am just at the end of me. I don’t have any more bright ideas, and I don’t have much energy to care. I don’t think I can possibly push through, I don’t even feel like I can cry.

Been there? I sure have. More than once. More times than I can count actually. It’s the “end of me” and it feels so hopeless. But this is the point where God starts. He can finally begin His best work!

Begin to really have His way. Begin to move in specifics He could not before, because I was in the way …pushing, trying to get outcomes that were never mine to get.

He allows me to get here. He waits for me to reach bottom, like an addict. To see I can’t, so He can. It has happened before and it will happen again. At least I realize a bit sooner, try to go slower, wait more patiently. Still it’s, ok.

At the end of me is the best place to be! A deflated self, a humble acknowledging that I can’t do it… even a little. He is my only Hope. He is my only Salvation. He is my Refuge.

On God rests my salvation and my glory; God is my strong rock, my refuge.
Trust Him at all times, O people;
pour out before Him your heart.
God is a refuge for us. Selah
” Psalm 62:7–8

Yes, LORD, hear my heart.

ForGlorySake!Anna

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Love, just to love

I fell in love with this handsome college guy one Easter morning. I met him and wanted to know him through and through. I wanted to talk to him, stay with him, never leave him. It was all rather shocking to me. I had never experienced anything like that before… so I married him.

The only other One who did something similar to me was God -when I was really young. I had heard about Him but I didn’t get the full story until years later. Either way, that same insatiable appetite was undeniable: to know Him more, see Him, somehow get closer to Him.

A child has no real agenda. They aren’t trying to get something from you, they just love, to love. This is why I think Jesus called His followers little children. They only wanted to be near Him. To know Him. To love Him.

Love the LORD God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength and then love others as you love (care for) yourselves.

It’s a natural flow. Being with God and learning about Him makes me love Him more. Trusting Him and allowing Him to love me, only draws us closer together. I can’t help but then, love God’s other children who share this same joy, and desire for more souls to know this amazing love.

Thank You Jesus, for pursing me and for showing me a love that made me fall in love with You. For a child-like curiosity You are still fulfilling. And a desire for simple faith, I love You for Who You are and all You’ve done.

ForGlorySake! –Anna

Little me… just loving


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I AM with me.

Sit. Wait. Feel His touch, His healing touch. It stills my running heart and eases my soul’s questions. You are the Answer, and all the answers are “yes” in Jesus.

Yes, You are here.

Yes, You are in control.

Yes, You know everything that’s happening.

Yes, You have a plan.

Yes, You make a way.

Yes, I can trust You.

Yes, I don’t need to worry.

Yes, I can rest and simply do the next thing.

Yes, You hear me pray for those suffering, for ears to open and eyes to see, for hearts to soften.

Yes, You care more than me.

Yes, I will remember ALL You have done… nothing is impossible with You.

ForGlorySake! –Anna


❤️
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Afraid? Fear not.

Some 300 times in scripture God says “fear not.” In other words, “have peace, you can trust Me!” Angels appearing, crisis happening, things that clearly cause fear… and God says, “don’t, stop.”

I have been in scary situations, such as sudden accidents, and it’s really hard to stop fearing on a dime. Sometimes an inner-calm has come immediately after prayer… sometimes it hasn’t. Fear can often gnaw and grow if left unchallanged.

What am I so afraid of?? I don’t fear if God is there, or whether He can hear me, or that He might not want to help. I fear this trial may be something He allows to continue and it may be uncomfortable… even painful. This could possibly last a long time, change my life, bring separation.

The good news? I do not have to fear because He loves me. I can NEVER be separated from Him! And He promises to use every tiny thing for my good and for His Glory. Whether I feel He caused it -or allowed it to happen, He remains Sovereign and will use it…all.

Trails are inevitable. Pain is a given. God ways will forever be higher than ours. He prunes to bring forth fruit. He disciplines/trials those He loves. So I will “fear not” He is to be trusted, my troubles achieve Glory!

ForGlorySake!Anna

Explanations come later 😉
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It’s a becoming…

I didn’t wake up one day with super natural faith. I wasn’t just born trusting God, or believing His every word. I remember as a child being curious and confused and afraid and a little doubtful. God drew me in slowly, teaching me about Himself. He showed me Jesus.

We become strong Saints, over time and through experiences, by choices made. Growth only starts with a “calling and accepting,” after which choosing begins. Choosing Him over others, seeking His way over mine. Dying to self… change. These bring deep roots into good soil, producing Spirit-fruit.

Theres’s a colorful drawing on my kitchen wall that makes me laugh every day. I made it as a preschooler. It’s of a terrified David running away from a smiling Goliath. I was told the correct story, I just couldn’t believe it! Not until I experienced for myself the power of an Almighty God that gives you the courage to stand up against an enemy.

It’s a reminder that I have grown and continue to grow in Him by choice. A continual, moment by moment choosing… to trust and look to The only One Who loves me fully and completely – my Creator and Savior. On easy days and hard days, I aim to keep my eyes on Him. Knowing that He is making me into something strong and beautiful.

ForGlorySake!Anna

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Hidden in the cleft

Exodus 33:13 ”Now if I have found favor in Your sight, show me Your way, that I may know You, that I may continue to find favor in Your sight. And see that these people are Your people.”

Over the years, how I have prayed prayers like Moses’: to find, to see, to continue, to know. And God has been faithful in answering again and again. I just wanted Him to “show me His Glory” (vs 18) in the midst of the trial.

I love, love, love verses 21 and 22 of the same chapter: “The Lord said, ‘Here is a place by Me; you will station yourself on a rock. When My Glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and will cover you with My hand while I pass by.’”

Our family is weathering yet another health crisis with yet another child. But God is here!
God calls me to stand close. God calls me to wait by Him. And He promises to pass by in all His Glory!

My Rock is Jesus. God puts me in His protection and personally covers me with His hand. He has provided all that I need to see Him work. My job is to simply station myself. He will do the rest…

Thank You, Father for never leaving me uncovered and exposed. You take such personal care of Your people. We are Yours and we await steadfast, for Your Glory.

ForGlorySake!Anna

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